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Creating a Safety Plan

Don’t be a hero. Be alive!

Domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of gender. If you are a man experiencing domestic abuse, it is essential to develop a safety plan to protect yourself emotionally, physically, and legally. This guide outlines key steps to ensure your safety and well-being.

men talking on stairs

1. Recognizing Abuse

  • Abuse is not limited to physical violence. It includes emotional, psychological, financial, and sexual abuse.
  • Signs of abuse may include threats, controlling behavior, isolation from family or friends, financial manipulation, physical harm, or false accusations.
  • If you feel unsafe or manipulated, your concerns are valid, and you deserve help.

2. Immediate Safety Measures

  • Get out – Identify rooms with an exit and avoid areas where weapons (kitchen, garage) are accessible.
  • Have an Escape Route – Plan how you can leave safely in an emergency, including exits, safe locations, and a meeting point.
  • Keep a Bag Ready – Store important items in a safe place or with someone you trust (documents, money, spare keys, medication, clothes).
  • Emergency Code Word – Set up a secret code word with a trusted friend or family member to signal danger.
  • Stay Connected – Maintain communication with a friend, neighbor, or coworker who can check in on you.
  • Change Passwords – Secure your phone, email, bank accounts, and social media with strong passwords.
man taking safety measures against abuse
man making list of abuse incidents

3. Protecting Yourself from False Allegations

  • Document Incidents – Keep a record of abuse (dates, times, what happened) in a safe place or email it to yourself.
  • Avoid Retaliation – Even in self-defense, avoid reacting in ways that could be used against you.
  • Record Conversations (Where Legal) – If legal in your area, record interactions or use security cameras for evidence.
  • Seek Witnesses – If possible, have a trusted friend or family member present during interactions with the abuser.

4. Seeking Support

  • Talk to Trusted People – Friends, family, or a therapist can provide emotional and practical support.
  • Contact Support Services – Some organizations assist male survivors of domestic violence, such as the Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women (U.S.) or Mankind Initiative (UK).
  • Find a Safe Place – If needed, seek temporary housing with friends, family, or a shelter that accepts men
man on phone
men discussing legal information on abuse

5. Legal and Financial Protections

  • Protect Your Assets – Ensure your finances are secure by setting up a separate bank account and reviewing joint assets.
  • Restraining Orders – If in immediate danger, consider filing for a protective order. Some laws allow men to seek restraining orders against abusive partners.
  • Know Your Rights – Contact a lawyer or legal aid service for advice on custody, separation, or restraining orders.
  • Report Incidents to Authorities – If safe, document and report any violence, threats, or harassment to law enforcement.

6. Preparing for Leaving

  • Plan the Best Time to Leave – Choose a time when the abuser is not around or when you have support.
  • Secure Important Documents – Keep passports, IDs, birth certificates, financial records, and legal paperwork in a safe location.
  • Change Your Routine – After leaving, vary your routine (work hours, routes home, grocery stores) to avoid being followed.
  • Notify Authorities or Security – If necessary, inform work security or law enforcement of your situation.
man looking at watch
men talking in a support group for violence

7. Emotional and Psychological Healing

  • Recognize Trauma – It is normal to feel fear, anger, guilt, or confusion after abuse.
  • Seek Therapy – Speaking to a professional can help you process your experience and rebuild confidence.
  • Join Support Groups – Some organizations offer groups specifically for men experiencing abuse.
  • Rebuild Independence – Focus on your goals, self-care, and personal growth after leaving the abusive relationship.

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